Well, I knew it would have to happen someday. About 25 years ago, I had an enormous amount of work done in my mouth to repair years of the ‘old silver fillings’ that I had acquired. The dentist told me that in about 10-12 years I would need to get a few crowns because of the damage I had done to my teeth. Last week I went in for my normal semi-annual cleaning and was told that I indeed finally needed to get my first crown and today was my lucky day.

First, let me tell you I am a dental wimp! Just the sound of that high-speed drill makes my teeth start aching and I absolutely hate the feel of the cold water against my teeth. So the thought of spending an hour and a half in the dental chair while he grinds one of my teeth down to a stump was not a pleasant one. After explaining to the nurse and dentist at least sixteen times how much I hated them, I took out my iPod, cranked up Rich Mullins as loud as he would go and told the nurse to tap me on the head if they needed to get my attention.

If you’ve never gotten a crown before (thank God I didn’t need to get the root canal), they literally grind your tooth down to a weird sort of square shape. I asked the dentist if he’d ever seen ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’ because that’s what my tooth felt like when he was done. I was thrilled by the effectiveness of the pain killers though and the only time the drill bothered me was when he put this huge honkin’, massive bit on the end of his drill and slooooowwwwlllyyyy roughed up the surface of the tooth. This bit felt like I was driving my car down a gravel road with no tires. And the sound was HORRIBLE!

But then they did one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. They dropped this waxy looking stuff into the mold they had taken of my teeth earlier and had me bite down on it. 3 minutes later, my temporary crown was ready to be trimmed down and polished. It was really neat the way the waxy material formed and hardened in the little tray in my mouth. (hey, it’s the small things in life that bring me joy).

Then they had to super-glue it to the stump in my mouth but for the most part that went off without a hitch. It was kinda funny the way the dentist told me “Make sure, if it falls out, you call right away and get it back in here immediately so I can glue it back on.” Like it was the wing of his favorite model and he was going to be very protective of it. I thought Doc, the odds are if the stupid thing falls out, it’s going to be a couple of days before I get it back and by then I probably won’t want it glued back into my mouth. But that’s probably too much information for most of you…

Anyway, in two weeks I get my permanent crown and then I’ll be a permanent king. Bwah hah hah!