As I may have mentioned before, my wife gets the Washington Post delivered to our doorstep every day. I have never really questioned her motives I just assumed that she had read Sun Tzu’s Art of War and was keeping her enemies closer. Anyway, for another 20+ days, I’m responsible for picking this piece of filth up out of the driveway, removing the plastic bag and depositing it in the recycle bin. I try my best not to get any of it on me because I have normally just showered and don’t want to have to go through that whole process again…
Anyway, a couple of days ago there was a headline in the middle of the front page that caught my eye talking about the new Dignitas Personae or ‘Dignity of the Person’ instruction document recently released from the Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Being on the front page of the Post, I knew this would not be a flattering article for the Church but I thought that I should read through it to see what they had to say. I was slightly surprised in that the article was not completely negative however I was caught off guard by one of the interviewees. This gentleman, Jon O’Brien, is the President of an organization called ‘Catholics for Choice’ and he was allowed to give his 2 cents worth to the article. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the name of his organization. Didn’t Pope John Paul II make it perfectly clear?! Hasn’t Pope Benedict XVI spoken about this subject as much as anything else during his papacy?! Haven’t the US Council of Catholic Bishops produced enough information in the past two years to make any reasonable human being cower at the thought?! YOU CAN NOT BE CATHOLIC AND PRO-CHOICE!! Get over it. If you want the right to murder an unborn fetus; CHOOSE ANOTHER RELIGION! Go somewhere else. We don’t want you and we don’t want to be ‘reformed‘ on this issue.
Anyway, once my blood pressure came down below the point where I was no longer in danger of splattering bodily fluids all over the walls, I started thinking about other oxymoronic organizations that I could start which would allow me to not have to work for a living anymore. I’m just going to set up a business front and ask people to send money for my cause. Then I’ll spend the money any way I want to.
So without further ado; here’s my shortlist of organizations whose ideals would make no sense in the modern world but unsuspecting saps might fall for:
- Prostitutes for Puritan Clothing
- Politicians for Campaign Finance Reform – Too easy, sorry
- Criminals Against the ACLU
- Men Against Sex
- Teenagers Who Think About Others First
- Lead Guitarists Against Porn
- Catholics for Widening the Front Pews – I had to pick on us a little
- Hobbits (or Dwarfs, or Elfs, or Humans) for the Ethical Treatment of Orcs
And if you happen to BE one of these cafeteria Catholics who thinks it’s okay to be pro-choice, to support gay marriage, or any other of the dozen or so things the Catholic Church says you cannot do and still call yourself a Catholic; I would suggest that you schedule an appointment with your local priest or even the bishop to discuss this subject with him.
God bless you all and have a Merry Christmas.
