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Hot, Steamy, Sex…

My teenaged son and I were having a heated conversation not too long ago about school, grades, and the amount of time he spends NOT being concerned with either. As a teenager, he felt it necessary to come up with some wonderful, snide retort that let me know that teenagers don’t need to discuss mundane things like education with their father’s; especially when there are still a couple of YouTube videos out there he has not yet seen. My son, summoning all of his teenage wisdom, said this: “Don’t worry dad, three more years and I’ll be out of your hair.” In the span of a microsecond, my brain said things to me like “You got that right, buddy”, “Do we really have to wait that long?”, “Smack him! Smack him, hard!”, “Try to remember, you were 15 once also.”, “It could be worse, he could be you.”, “Where DO you hide the body parts so that they can’t be found?”, “Oh come on, smack him!”. My brain is very fast, and rather caustic! Unfortunately, my mouth has been rather slow on the uptake since my “friends” at work have been reminding me that most people have a “gatekeeper” (you are more than welcome to picture me holding my hands in front of me and making the quotation marks with my fingers, if you would like) that keeps the things in their brains from making it to their lips! Whatever! So now I have a dilemma because I want my son to respect me but I also dearly want to stove in his cranium with a pan (which obviously would make it hard for him to respect me, duh). I paused a couple of seconds, exhaled deeply for dramatic effect and looked my son directly in the eyes and heard this come out of my mouth…”Son, you will never, ever be out of my hair. You may be out of my house, even in another state but I will always love you and always worry about you. And, believe it or not I don’t want you out of my hair. I might want you to be a better person but I don’t want to lose you.” Up until that point, I had never seen a teenager open their mouth to formulate a response and then close it dumbfounded (at least not without doing it on purpose to make a point). He was completely taken aback by this. He didn’t run to his desk and start doing his homework; but he didn’t lose his cool and start arguing either.

Naturally, after he walked away, I sat back and basked in the glow of what I had just accomplished. No fight, no (more) sarcastic looks or phrases, just stunned silence followed by a stroll out of the room to digest what he had just heard and try to discover if his dad really meant it or if there was a new method to sarcasm that his father was trying to impart on him. Either way, I had just gotten away with a major coup and I was very proud of myself. The back-patting machine was going full bore. Then my brain started having this little discussion inside my head that went something like this.
“That was very good, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was. How did you come up with that? You’re really not that good you know.”
“Maybe, after 15 years I’m finally starting to come into my own.”
“Yeah, and Hillary’s going to be a wonderful Secretary of State. Really, where’d you get that from?”
“Can’t I have just a single moment? Leave me alone.”
“Do you think your mother had anything to do with this?”
“She’s 1800 miles away. How could she?”

You see, my brain knew something that I didn’t remember knowing and it wanted to remind me of it. I hate playing games; I am a very direct person and I would prefer my brain to treat me the same way, but I had to give you some insight, didn’t I? Eventually, I was taken back to a conversation I had with my mother several years ago. I don’t remember exactly how we got on the subject but I distinctly remember saying to her, “Aren’t you glad all your kids are grown and you can stop worrying about them?” To which my mother replied that you never stop worrying about your children. In fact, she said, if they told you the truth beforehand, you’d never have children. The truth is, once your first child is born, you will never be able to stop worrying again as long as you live.
Can you imagine? And sure enough, it was way too late to try to stuff those little buggers back where they came from! So, my brain was very satisfied with itself for stealing my glory and making me realize that I had not actually become a great father overnight as well as giving me more things to think about as my teenager (who thinks I’m an idiot) becomes a man.

Well, as the wonderful poet and theologian Carl Sagan once said, “If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” Deep, huh?

Oh, and for those of you who read the title and continued on because of it, I have something to say to you. Shame on you, go to confession now!

education-graphics_1084416a

Huh?…

As I may have mentioned before, my wife gets the Washington Post delivered to our doorstep every day. I have never really questioned her motives I just assumed that she had read Sun Tzu’s Art of War and was keeping her enemies closer. Anyway, for another 20+ days, I’m responsible for picking this piece of filth up out of the driveway, removing the plastic bag and depositing it in the recycle bin. I try my best not to get any of it on me because I have normally just showered and don’t want to have to go through that whole process again…

Anyway, a couple of days ago there was a headline in the middle of the front page that caught my eye talking about the new Dignitas Personae or ‘Dignity of the Person’ instruction document recently released from the Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Being on the front page of the Post, I knew this would not be a flattering article for the Church but I thought that I should read through it to see what they had to say. I was slightly surprised in that the article was not completely negative however I was caught off guard by one of the interviewees. This gentleman, Jon O’Brien, is the President of an organization called ‘Catholics for Choice’ and he was allowed to give his 2 cents worth to the article. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the name of his organization. Didn’t Pope John Paul II make it perfectly clear?! Hasn’t Pope Benedict XVI spoken about this subject as much as anything else during his papacy?! Haven’t the US Council of Catholic Bishops produced enough information in the past two years to make any reasonable human being cower at the thought?! YOU CAN NOT BE CATHOLIC AND PRO-CHOICE!! Get over it. If you want the right to murder an unborn fetus; CHOOSE ANOTHER RELIGION! Go somewhere else. We don’t want you and we don’t want to be ‘reformed‘ on this issue.

Anyway, once my blood pressure came down below the point where I was no longer in danger of splattering bodily fluids all over the walls, I started thinking about other oxymoronic organizations that I could start which would allow me to not have to work for a living anymore. I’m just going to set up a business front and ask people to send money for my cause. Then I’ll spend the money any way I want to.

So without further ado; here’s my shortlist of organizations whose ideals would make no sense in the modern world but unsuspecting saps might fall for:

  1. Prostitutes for Puritan Clothing
  2. Politicians for Campaign Finance Reform – Too easy, sorry
  3. Criminals Against the ACLU
  4. Men Against Sex
  5. Teenagers Who Think About Others First
  6. Lead Guitarists Against Porn
  7. Catholics for Widening the Front Pews – I had to pick on us a little
  8. Hobbits (or Dwarfs, or Elfs, or Humans) for the Ethical Treatment of Orcs

And if you happen to BE one of these cafeteria Catholics who thinks it’s okay to be pro-choice, to support gay marriage, or any other of the dozen or so things the Catholic Church says you cannot do and still call yourself a Catholic; I would suggest that you schedule an appointment with your local priest or even the bishop to discuss this subject with him.

God bless you all and have a Merry Christmas.

Our Lady of Guadalupe…

Today is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, patron saint of the America’s. All of the America’s, North, South, and Central. Isn’t that cool? Many people have heard the story of how she appeared to Juan Diego (who is now a saint) and told him to speak to the Bishop about building a church on top of a mountain. The bishop was reticent and demanded a sign. Mary showed to Juan Diego several rose plants blooming in the middle of winter which she picked herself and arranged within his tilma (an outer garment worn by Aztec men). The PowerPoint below is about this tilma and the miraculous, scientifically proven things about it. Enjoy!

Our Lady of Guadalupe PowerPoint

WOW…

All I can say is WOW! Our priest spoke this weekend about right to life issues and how Catholics are mandated by their claim to be a Catholic to vote for life. He spoke of several things, not just Roe v. Wade and the Freedom of Choice Act but he talked about how we need to stop crisis pregnancy at the source and how we have to do everything in our power to help those in crisis pregnancy situations.

His arguments were very compelling. He spoke about how some laws were inherently bad and we recognized them as such. So, slavery was bad and no reasonably intelligent person would agree today that ‘a person should be allowed to choose whether or not they should own slaves’. He spoke that way in regards to spousal abuse also, so that no reasonably intelligent person would agree that ‘a person should be allowed to choose whether or not they can beat their spouse’. Yet we are willing to engage this same type of conversation about the murder of unborn babies. Like me, he followed the abortion argument to it’s logical conclusion (and then some) which is to say “Where do we stop?” There are some countries that are already arguing for and promoting euthanasia as a means of allowing people to die with ‘dignity’. He asked, “why stop there?”; what about the infirmed?, those born with debilitating diseases?, teenagers that we just can’t control? (he got a chuckle for saying this but I’m not sure that was his intention). One more statement that he made was important I think. He said (to the effect of) that the country is responsible for making laws but it is up to the Church to be a moral compass for the country. People didn’t just start believing slavery was bad, the moral climate of the country got to the point where everyone, not just those deeply involved with their church, began to realize that slavery was bad because all men are created equal. Many people died bringing this to fruition and there are still people out there who believe they are better than others strictly because of their race but that is certainly not the pervasive feeling throughout the country.

I believe that abortion is the same way; most people understand that murder is bad but they allow themselves to be bullied into believing that the unborn are somehow not human. Because they do not fall into the ‘viable’ category they are somehow not human yet if you wait a little while, would they somehow be something else? If you apply the scientific process what would you conclude? Every single time in human history when a human egg and a human sperm have united, they have produced a human child. Not 10%, not 50%, not 99.99999%, but 100% of the time. So the argument moves to ‘when does the sperm and the egg become a child?’ This is the argument I like the most because not too long ago, we did not have any real evidence. Today however we know that immediately after the sperm and the egg unite, the new life begins; the cells start splitting and (though it may not yet look like it) little Tommy or little Janey is on the way.

So what exactly are we left with in this whole Pro-Life argument? I’ll tell you. We are left with those who have the courage to stand up for what is right and have an open, honest debate with the pro-choice people. It’s not our job to try and understand what the other side is saying. It is not our job to agree that sometimes, just maybe sometimes, there is a valid reason for aborting a baby. It is our job to present a reasoned, well thought out argument for the sanctity of all life not matter what state it is in.

What about the safety of the mother? Come on Hobbit, you have to agree that if the doctor says the mother will die delivering this baby, we should be able to abort the baby. NO I DON’T! I cannot give life to anything therefore I should not be willing to take life from anything either. One of the arguments in this case is that “we cannot be sure that the sperm and egg are a life”. If we cannot be sure it is a life, it stands to reason that we cannot be sure it is NOT a life. Which side makes more sense, allowing it to grow and see if it becomes a life or killing it, ensuring that we will never know?

So what can you do? First and foremost, you need to educate yourself on the issue so that you can make an informed case for life. Secondly, you need to vote pro-life. This is not me speaking to you, this is Pope John Paul II speaking in Evangelium Vitae that the single most fundamental right of the human being is the right to life and that no government or power be allowed to create any law which would subvert that right. All Catholics must and all Christians should be compelled to vote for the candidate who will uphold the right to life. This has nothing to do with what you think is correct or, more importantly, what your conscience is telling you; this has to do with fundamental truths and, perhaps, the reason why we are Catholics in the first place. Sometimes, it is important for us to rely on those whose job it is to educate us in our morality. In this case, it is Pope John Paul II; a man who almost all religious leaders considered to be fundamentally grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ! He is telling us that this one subject is more important than anything else to mankind. It is THE foundational principal upon which all other moral decisions depend! Vote pro-life and then follow up to ensure that your candidates are keeping their word.

Really that important?

I have to admit that there have been times in the past when I have looked at the ballot (probably not for a presidential election) and wondered whether or not the election was important to me or not. I am certain that karma, in all of its various disguises is catching up to me this election.
To be honest, the President is not going to be able to impact the financial situation on Wall Street too much. That is not the President’s role. There have been financial crises under various Presidents of several different political parties. The current crisis was caused by greed; plain and simple. The stock market has been overvalued for at least 9 years now and no one has really been screaming about it because no one really yells when everyone seems to be making money. Anyway, no matter how you look at it, the President is not going to fix the economic situation in this country. So what should we look at when we discuss who it is that we are going to vote for. What is the President responsible for anyway? The President is the moral compass of our country. The man or woman who sits in the most powerful seat of the most powerful country in the world needs to be one who not only has sound moral principals but also surrounds themselves with leadership that can make sound moral judgments as well. I believe that the more you’ve been through the crucible of fire, the more you will understand how to make good decisions and how bad decisions have negative impacts that you might not have thought about. I don’t believe that any candidate in the history of this great country has been ideal for the role of President. Many have been close, several have been horrible, but for me, the current election has the starkest contrast that I have seen in the 25 years I’ve been voting.

As I Catholic, I ask you to watch the following short video. It will not try to convert you, it will just ask you to vote your conscience this November.

Thank you