It’s still a turd!

My wife’s husband is a turd. I kind of like the guy but really he is. Imagine if you will that you are a woman (for some of you this will not require imagination); you are stationed in a foreign country where women are considered to be one step below dogs on the ladder of life. You are required to drive 20 minutes back and forth to work each day, by yourself, knowing that if you break down or get a flat you will most likely be harassed (if you’re lucky) or harmed (if you’re not). Imagine that a huge terrorist bomb goes off less than a mile from where you are working. A bomb so devastating that you FEEL it in your chair! You pick up the phone and call your husband to let him know you’re okay even before he knows there is a problem and what does he do? He blogs about HIS feelings! What a jerk!

So today, I owe you all an apology but especially my wife. The one whom I love and would give the world for. I’m so sorry that you are having to experience this. People whom you worked with have died or are severely injured. You are scared and alone and I cannot be there to listen or hold you or let you cry on my shoulder. I promised to always be there for you and I cannot. You should probably hate me but you don’t. I should have stopped to ask how you were feeling and if there was anything, anything at all that I could do for you but I didn’t. I’d like to use the excuse that you had to hangup quickly or perhaps that I was so shocked by what I was hearing that I couldn’t think straight but the fact of the matter is that I’m selfish. I was scared of what would happen to me and the kids if you were gone and I thanked God that you were safe but not so much because of your safety but because we would not have to go on without you. What a selfish turd you’ve married. At this very moment I am so glad you are a strong Catholic woman who would never divorce her husband, I’d deserve it.

As you can see, I have had time now to think about what I said and did not say to you when you called. I have had time to rethink my position. I still am scared of losing you but I no longer pray for your safety out of fear of losing you or because I cannot stand the thought of the world without you but because you have placed your life on the line so that others, those back home, can sleep in peace. Maybe not all of us back home are sleeping that way but there are many more that are than aren’t. Please, please, please stay safe. Pray the Canopy Prayer every day, it really works. Know that I am praying for you every hour of the day to come back to us safe and sound. I am constantly asking God to remove your fear and allow you to rest so that you can be at your best. For him to wrap you in the wings of your Guardian Angel and block out anything that would harm you. I know that we are meant to be together and that our love will be enough to get you through this time. I am so thankful for your strengths and your weaknesses. I love you.

Me <3